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Q: Alexis, Please HELP, How do I get rid of a stage 5 clinger?

A: First of all this question has two parts. One for females and one for males. The answer is somewhat the same, but also very different for other reasons.

Get Rid of a [female] stage 5 clinger:

You guys are just so charming. It’s so hard to think there is nothing there when we had so much in common and had such a great time. She texts you to grab dinner, to go out on the weekend, to see what you are doing on Saturday morning… honing in like a giraffe. Unlike my dating advice below on how to get rid of a male stage 5 clinger, you’re going to do a 180 and DON’T text her. Eventually she will get it [hopefully]. In the end you will also unfortunately look like a douchebag that doesn’t know what he wants, but hey- no pain no gain! However, on the flip side, if it’s a girl that you might be interested in later — whether it is just as a booty call or for networking purposes, keep her on the back burner. RESPOND. “Hey, I’ve been swamped with work, maybe next week”, or “Hey, this week’s a little crazy, I’ll keep you posted if anything falls through”. In the end you are giving her the attention [temporarily] that she wants and she will be satisfied. By responding to her you are also making her feel at ease and she will be less likely to blow up your phone like a forest fire.

Get rid of a [male] stage 5 clinger:

You go out on one or two dates with the guy, are polite, he texts/ calls you, and you don’t respond. You’re simply not interested, so why not just ignore him and hope he will go away? Wrong answer. These are MALES we are talking about. THE most competitive breed of species in the entire world. You not responding to them acts as a challenge. There is nothing that a guy loves more than a challenge! So while you think you are playing cool and coy ignoring him completely, in the end you are just driving him to want to put a ring on it. Please take my dating advice and save yourself the time, and grow some balls. I can’t say this enough but when you aren’t interested cut your losses! There is no point wasting the world’s time by ignoring someone. It is not difficult — a simple “Hey, you’re a great guy, and I had a lot of fun with you, but I just don’t think we are compatible” will do. If you only have one ball you can even go with “Hey, look I had a lot of fun with you but I don’t see this working past friends” or “Hey, I’ve got my hands tied with work right now, but maybe another time”. But even this last one might leave him grazing like cattle near your local hangout spots. CUT IT OFF! You will only end up frustrated and sexually irritated. It will make you not want to go out with other guys because you will see it as a chore and a waste of your time if you aren’t completely smitten from the start. Not texting him does not mean he is going to go away- be strong!

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