It’s a Friday night- you hit the town with your best friend and the guys. You look hot from head to toe, the dress, the jewelry, the shoes, you waltz up to the Newport pub like it’s XS in Las Vegas. It’s finally the weekend; all you need now is a drink in your hand and a hot jam. As you’re getting down, shakin’ your tail feathers, the guys finish their 46 oz. beers and it’s on to the next bar. No problem, until you’re waiting to get in and you take your right foot out of your 6” pump and unfold your toes. What a feeling.
Then comes the same feeling you get on your feet when you run from the snow and jump in a hot Jacuzzi. Burn would be an understatement of this feeling. Oops, so even though you’re wearing your favorite brand, turns out these shoes are not quite like the rest of the collections you have. You put your heels back on and scoot inside. As you bear the pain, mostly standing around chit chatting and swaying, it isn’t until they do the last call that you realize you will have to walk ALL the way back to the car where the first bar is in your god awful hoofs. Considering the guys your’e with have A. been drinking and B. are shorter than you or over 2 feet taller than you… a piggyback ride is starting to look out of the question. You have now formed a bubble blister on your foot the size of an acorn. Awesome.
Hello Fast Flats
If you’re anything like me, I will walk until my feet bleed before I walk on the foul homeless piss embedded sidewalk. I just love seeing groups of floozies walking down the sidewalk jolly as jasper BAREFOOT in downtown Los Angeles. Umm… hello last I checked a man was peeing in the exact spot you are standing, and I vaguely remember rats scampering down this sidewalk not too long ago. Now your feet probably look more like Shrek’s and there is a great possibility that you are now a carrier of gangrene, AIDS and athletes foot. Disgusting. I understand you need to break in your new heels but that does not give you any excuse to be parading around like Christopher Columbus in Newport Beach. As you have many options which include throwing a pair of flip-flops in your bag before you go out, the best new item to hit the market are the Fast Flats by Dr. Scholl’s. They are basically foldable flats that come with a cute little gold wristlet. These are a must for those of you who boogie the heel out of your shoes when you go out. I bet you anything if I took these out and went to put them on after a long night on the town, I would have girls begging to pay me for them.
With that said, don’t be in pain again. And don’t you dare walk through the city barefoot without a care in the world. You are a lady. Could you imagine Queen Elizabeth EVER walking barefoot ANYWHERE? She probably doesn’t even walk barefoot around her bedroom. Some of you ladies I have seen really need to stop acting like animals/ men. Guys love your gorgeous soft skin; so don’t let your feet look like Shrek’s. Go pick up a pair of these flats.