Assets = Partners + Property
And guys say that it’s hard to find the right GIRLS in Los Angeles. Being a female in your twenties your pickings are slim. You typically have to target males over thirty because at that point there is a higher chance of finding a man who is intellectually and physically as mature and stable as you are. It’s rare that I come across a girl in her twenties who is with a guy her same age or younger. For males, you can go for the younger ones and older.
However, the one thing both male and female have in common while dating? Finding the perfect match. Getting the right man or woman is like buying a car or house. Let’s go for the house, assuming we’re all looking for an asset, something to come home to, something to share and something to invest your time and money into. When you buy a house, just like dating, the more you visit (more dates you go on) the easier it gets. You’re able to really hone in on what it is that you are looking for (whether it be house or condo/ boyfriend or husband). Finally, one day you come across a catch. At that point it’s not hard to see that all the qualities you’ve been looking for are right in front of you.
So you find the house (partner) of your dreams. You then have to make an offer (in dating this would be a compromise). It is what you think they are worth. In your house, can you deal with not having a backyard or an extra bathroom? In dating, Are they worth moving for? Are they worth waiting (sex) for? Are they worth putting money up for (unemployment/ disability)? You have to ask yourself these questions, if they aren’t, they probably aren’t the one you are really meant to be with (the home you are supposed to buy). Then there is the whole process of inspections before the offer is finalized, in dating this would be moving in together, introducing the significant other to family or if you are a parent your kids. Obviously, with any house you buy, you want it to be inspected for mold, damage, or any other issues you may not be able to fix later, or will take too much time, money and energy.
There isn’t any real part of this whole dating that is anything near easy. It is very, very difficult for both sides, men and women of all ages, single forever, bad breakup, divorced, widowed etc. However the one thing you can always count on is that for each date you go on, each new partner you take out, you will walk away knowing more; more about yourself and what in the end is best for you. You absolutely have to take it as an experience.
My most recent experience? A third wheel date with an international model man. Last week my roommate and I are sitting at Pink Taco in West Hollywood grabbing some happy hour. We’re catching up on our week when one of the two guys sitting next to us asks if he can get some dating advice. He asks for some suggestions on where to take a girl on their date. I tell him it depends on how many dates they have been on, what her limitations are and what he is trying to get out of it. I gave him my best advice and he ran with it and skipped out to go on his date. Meanwhile my roommate was hitting it off with his friend. They exchanged numbers and we left.
The next day they arranged to meet up for drinks after work. He had mentioned his friend would be coming after dinner– perfect. My roommate and the guy met at the Belmont, I had some stuff going on so walked over a little while after.
Pretentious Pigs or Model Men
Let me forewarn you, I have been on a date now with just about every tool in the shed (haha), the lawyer, the bartender, the server, the actor, the accountant, the Disney character, the director, the snowboarder, the shoe designer, the investor and more. Yet, I have never been on as what I would call a third wheel date with a model. It was slightly worse than my date with “Mr. Lawyer”. At the time my roommate and I were completely blown away, now we look at it as a complete joke and can’t help but laugh.
To start, Mr. Model Man could barely take a breathe of air lending himself to talk about every aspect of his entire life. I can assure you he walked away from all of this only knowing my roommates name and maybe two fun facts about her life. I could have probably written a book about him. He complained about how uncomfortable Alexander McQueen clothing was, he physically turned my roommate’s head toward him when she was talking to me and claimed the other people at the table couldn’t hear her when she spoke faced-forward to me. He blew air in my face, as if he was blowing out candles when I told him I couldn’t hear him, THEN did it again when he asked me a question and I got the wrong answer. I know; I also wasn’t aware there were wrong answers when someone asked you about your life. And the FINALE! He tells excuses himself and lets us know he needs to take a call outside. Twenty minutes pass, thirty minutes, forty-five minutes…we finish our drinks, tell the waiter this guy is a walk out, close our bill and bounce.
(Yes, this is the closest resemblance to Mr. Model Man)
Side note: my roommate texts him after twenty minutes and says we are leaving to meet with other friends soon. No response. We make our way outside the bar and TA-DA! MR. MODEL MAN IS ON HIS PHONE OUTSIDE. He comes walking after us with a completely puzzled look on his face. There was nothing more or less to say to Mr. Model Man. It was very clear, we had just gone on a date with the most pretentious, self-indulged, rude and pathetic pig on the black market. I wouldn’t take him if he was on sale for 99% off!
The highlight and lesson at the very end was an hour or so later when he did finally text my roommate back….
Lesson learned- we all must go out with just one of these farm animals in our lifetime. He officially wins the gold muse for The “Most Likely to Be Single Forever”.