And the reason why I am a total AskMen.com diehard fan continues. I couldn’t have put it better myself. Saying No to sex on the first date. I know ladies, can you imagine a guy saying “I think we should wait”…. Has that ever happened, ever? I am so sick of this double standard for women. It is called a DATE for a reason. Going out with someone you are interested in pursuing. It is just that. It is not an invite to sleep over. It is not a guaranteed boom in the bed win. It is a time for two individuals to get together in hopes of finding they are compatible. Which, more often than not, isn’t the case. But this isn’t always apparent until later when you’ve come to the realization that she is a stage 5 clinger and he is a commitment phobe.
You men seem to think that you can get away with just about anything. Of course YOU guys can go on dates and fumble around trying to get in a girls pants on the first date. All while women get completely smashed at the first hint of having slept with a man after the first or second date. Did it ever occur to you that you trying to get in our pants after a night of drinks made us think of you as a man whore? No, you probably didn’t. You were too busy thinking with your little brain.
The first thing that comes to mind when a woman sleeps with a man by the second date, is that she is a slut. However, I want to make one thing very clear. Just the same as you want to feel lucky when you finally get a girl in bed after a handful of dates, we too would love FOR ONCE to find a guy that actually had some standards. A nice example would be, not feeling pressured after dinner and wine? I know, only in a perfect world right? Here’s more on why men should wait to use their power tools until they understand the project.
Waiting Shows You’re A Gentleman
Chivalry in the form of throwing your jacket over puddles to prevent your lady from getting her shoes wet may have left the dating scene long ago, but avoiding first-date sex is right up there with the greats. Suggesting sex after knowing her a few hours makes her feel you’re only after one thing, you don’t respect her or you’re the Don Juan of the town. Talk about a turnoff if she’s keen on a relationship that lasts longer than one night.
Waiting Gives You Time To Evaluate Her
Since you’ve just met her, you don’t really know her other than some things about her life, interests and job. If you add carnal knowledge to the list too quickly, you miss out on other crucial info you should be spending sex time trying to discover. For instance, is she a crazy chick who is going to assume that you’re a full-fledged couple after you’ve had sex? Will she turn into a human version of Velcro the morning after? It’s important to know her vibe before you take her to the next level, in order to avoid bad sex complications.
Good Things Come To Those Who Wait
Sex is important in a relationship; there’s no doubt about it. But making a slow transition to sex will result in an even more mind-blowing experience when the full act does happen. By then you’ll know if you’re in sync with each other, you can suss out the chemistry, and sex can become something that cements your relationship even more. So if she’s a woman you’d like to call your girlfriend in the near future, wait sex out a little longer, buddy. It’ll pay off.
She’s hot, you’re eager and there’s so much sexual tension, you are one drink away from suggesting you go back to your place. Stop. It actually could be better if you don’t see each other naked on the first date. No, really. Not only will she be flattered that you don’t see her as nothing but a piece of meat, but keeping your pants on could be good for you too. So if you’re interested in pursuing a relationship with her, it’s probably in your best interest to take that cold shower.
Here are some reasons first-date sex is best left undone.
Waiting Creates Anticipation
In our quick-fix society, anticipation has been shoved away in favor of immediate pleasure. But waiting a little longer before having sex in a romantic relationship is important because it gives you something to look forward to. If you enjoy the main prize of sex on a first date, you’re starting the process back to front. It’s quite an anticlimax to get to know each other after you’ve already had sex.
Waiting Creates Challenge
If you don’t let yourself get hot and heavy right away, you can create challenge. This means letting her do some work in chasing you, as well as moving slowly and then holding back a bit so that her interest is raised. It doesn’t take a genius to see how this strategy could be ruined by having sex too quickly. If you indulge in first-date sex, you’re showing her you’re very interested right off the bat, which makes it more difficult to be a bit distant afterward if you are keen on pursuing a real relationship. It could also make her think a relationship with you is a done deal (you know how some women still view sex as synonymous with coupledom).
Waiting Shows You Don’t Think She’s A Slut
If you’re quick to show her the way to your bedroom, she might think you view her as nothing but a cheap date. She’ll think you see her as someone who does this with all the men she meets. And chances are, she’ll be right. So hold off on sex for now. Although she’s attracted to you, ultimately she wants to know you respect her and are interested to know more about her than how she looks naked.
Waiting Keeps You Interested
Not only does anticipation go AWOL after you have sex on the first date, but chances are your interest will take a dive too. You might not even feel the need to get to know her once you’ve had sex, and so gone is the interest in trying to see if you’d work as a couple. If you press pause on sex for a while, you give yourself a chance to get to know her when lust is not clouding your vision. Then sex becomes the reward for keeping that interest burning.
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