Chivalry Is Dead

Chivalry died ages ago, romance is border-line ancient, and intimacy between men and women has changed substantially in the past few decades, but more specifically in the past five years. Not to blame technology but, the fact that we have been given these marvelous tools such as text messaging, email, Facebook, Twitter, Foursquare and Blackberry Messenger why would I ever need to call anyone? I can look at your Foursquare and see where you are, I can check your twitter to see what you’re doing this weekend and then I can peruse your Facebook to see if I should add you into my mass text looking for another girl to plan a double date with.

This is all great, it definitely makes the communication in our lives easier, but it takes a huge part out of the communication which [we] as human beings have learned in building on a new relationship. The worst part about these forms of communication? Besides an occasional winky face 😉 These forms lack EMOTION. What is anything without emotion? It is nothing.

So now that this generation has completely demolished all forms of chivalry, romance, infatuation and the passion you might need to rethink your game. As soon as possible. Now if Trey Songz is your role model and “LOL 🙂 [smiley face]” is your game, we have a lot bigger issues to deal with.

Fear of Intimacy

Whether your game is as fiery as Angelina Jolie’s or as smooth as Robin Thick’s there will always be something your game is missing. This is fact not fiction. You could have worth, experience, sex appeal, the goods… everything, but at the end of the day, your interaction with someone could make or break your game. This part of the game; the physical contact between you and another is a key aspect of intimacy with both male and females, but imperative on the males side.

Intimacy isn't that scary... see?

I’m going to start with males. How to touch a girl. Hands down, it is one of the most noticeable traits a guy may or may not posses or practice. It seems like it is always the older guys, maybe from experience, who really know how to touch a girl. I am not talking about how to touch a girls hoo-haa. I am talking about the physical contact that resembles a connection, the kind that shows a girl that you are a real man. Real men are not afraid of their feelings, showing emotion or moving forward in a relationship.

A guy that knows how to touch a girl is the guy that cares, is kind, thoughtful and real. These words might scare a few of you but they are traits that will get you further in life and in the bedroom. Think about it like this- the guy that knows how to touch a girl probably knows because he has paid attention, followed signs, body language and has genuinely cared about the woman he was with.

This advice is not just for guys in relationships or marriages, even for guys looking for short term lust, this is how you seal the deal. Booty call? She’ll be picking up the phone for you, that’s for sure. When it comes to hooking up, it is nothing but a game. That’s essentially what differentiates it from a relationship. Not only are you excited playing the game, the unknown is always exciting, but the guys that rock the game are the ones that have their game down pat. Meaning while some of you guys are too afraid of a girl getting attached, your homeboy is doing everything right, knows how to touch a girl and make her feel like the only girl in the room, and I’ll tell you what, his glass is always half full, while yours is typically half empty.

Knowing how to touch a girl also feeds into your body language. When I worked as a waitress the best way to make a connection to my guest was by some form of contact. Maybe it was when I brought the salt and pepper and touched the hosts upper shoulder or with my hand just grazing the head hauncho’s back, I would ask how everything was going. Its like a connection out of some Star Wars movie, the kind you can only get through some sort of physical contact.

How to Touch a Girl

When this is applied to a girl it starts with the little things, putting your hand on the small of her back as you open the door for her. If it is a girl at a party you notice, walk by her (when there isn’t very much room) and lightly touch her waist as if you didn’t want to knock her over as you walk by. While taking a walk, go behind her rubbing her shoulders in a playful manner. When you are at the movies, don’t just put your hand around her, draw circles with your finger on her shoulder. When you are laying down watching a movie, gently touch her shoulders, back, small of her back and her sides. This last thing is something tooo many men do not do, but could change a girls feelings for you. Don’t forget to touch her when you are kissing, who wants to kiss a penguin? Finally, do not do any of the above in a creepy or forceful manner, if you notice a girl tend to pull away from you, take the hint.

With ladies; because we are able to better assess and filter our emotions, most of us have no problem with intimacy. However, just from talking to different guys, the one thing I consistently hear is that when two are in a new relationship for a long period of time (think three years plus), their passion takes a bigger dip than a deep sea diver. Fact; guys have a higher sex drive than women, and sometimes I know, we can’t always please them, but the quickest and easiest way to bring a flame back to high heat is through physical contact. Don’t leave the house in the morning without giving him a hug and kiss goodbye, grab his derrière sometime- that will let him know you still have the hots for him, when he is brushing his teeth in the morning come up behind him and give him some lovin’. Most guys aren’t build a bear cuddle worms like girls are, but they still want affection just like you do, so don’t make the mistake that could leave them looking at other bombshells. And if you’re drained from work and can’t pull it together for some sexy time, tell him he’s yours (Friday) night.

Give him a little massage, come on- he deserves it.

So now that you have the facts down when it comes to touching the opposite sex, go get your paws ready for some hot action. Whether it is lust or love, guys; make her weak in knees for your moves. We all know, girls can go out anywhere and come back with a man, but finding a man that knows how to touch a girl– this is the guy that will land a callback.

Does your touch satisfy him? The physical touch I have written about applies to EVERYONE. :))